Creativity for me, is one of the best things about being a witch. I get to create my own rituals and adapt them for the time of year, my mood, my desires, my needs!!
There are so many ways to be creative in ritual and spellcasting. Writing our own rituals, our own spells. Making our own altar decorations, our own altars for that matter.
Personally, I love to crochet so I have crocheted the bags that hold my runes, and each of my tarot decks. I know that Spirit knows these bags were made with love and the best of intent so it doesn't matter that they are not of the traditional materials for storing scrying objects.
Likewise, I make my own candles. Sometimes I add scents or herbs, even on occasion a crystal chip or two. These candles make my rituals all the more meaningful, even if sometimes my candles seem to burn at 10x the normal rate. Its all good, Spirit and I can laugh at it because we know it was my best effort.
I also am looking forward to moving so I can better decorate my space for each esbat, sabbat and I'm thinking even moon cycle. I know in my heart its time for me to start dong a lot more nocturnal and lunar workings. Its where I'm being guided and I am full of new ideas for this branch of my path.
I'm truly looking forward to having a front door big enough to decorate with a wreath of pine cones that I can then wrap with ribbon and decorations appropriate to each esbat, sabbat and full moon.
Eventually, I would like to make my own set of runes, but that's probably a few years off. For right now, decorating my apartment, crocheting blankets to match my rituals and leaving them out, even making window decorations to match my rituals will keep me plenty busy.
And of course once I move and have some room, there will be space to have my own herb garden and to make many shaped and molded candles for different rituals. The possibilities are truly endless!!
Blessed Be!!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
The Blah-Blah-Blah of Daily Sober Life
I want to apologize for the lateness of this post. I thought I had set the auto post to publish at 2am on Friday 2/10/12. Apparently not, because when I checked just now, it hadn't yet posted. Oh, well, next time I will do better and check sooner. Again, my apologies.
Sometimes this is the most rewarding part of being sober. Getting up every day, knowing what we've done for the last day, week, month, whatever length of time, and knowing that we are doing everything we're supposed to be doing.
We actually get up, shower, get dressed, go to work, school, program, whatever we do with our day. We also handle the everyday things in life, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and so on. For a lot of us, there was a time when very little, if any, of this stuff got done on a weekly, much less a daily basis.
Sometimes, despite all this, we feel that there is something missing, or that we've done something wrong. I know personally, I get an attack of the guilts at least twice a month. And this is not guilt for something I've done or haven't done. This is just out-of-nowhere, totally blindsiding me guilt!!
Unfortunately, this is also sometimes part of daily sober life. When I have these feelings I just look back over the last few days and ask myself have I done everything I'm supposed to do? Was I where I should have been on time and did I do my best at whatever I tried? If I can honestly answer yes to those questions then I'm halfway to knowing that the guilt is just my disease playing mind games.
Getting the rest of the way to knowing the guilt comes from my disease and not my conscience is a little bit harder. I have to go over my last few days and make sure that I've treated people right. Have I done my best to be tolerant and understanding even when I've been annoyed.? If I can honestly answer that question yes, or if I've apologized to someone I treated unfairly because I was in a mood, then I know the guilts are just a symptom of my disease.
Unfortunately, the guilts and similar bad feelings are part of the lifelong battle of addiction. It really doesn't matter how long we've been sober, there is something inside of us that would love to see us self-destruct and die. We know this, and we battle it, that's how we got sober in the first place!!
But our disease is not one to give up easily, or actually, to give up ever!! We must constantly question any self-doubt that comes our way, no matter its form. The trick is questioning it honestly. If we are having bad feelings that are justified-that we have done something to earn-then it is time to slow down and focus on our recovery again, and maybe let a little of the day-to-day blah blah stuff slide.
By focusing on our recovery we also focus on bettering ourselves and living up to our full potential, because really that's what recovery is on its most basic level-being the best person that we can be! If we are truly trying our best, then we can more easily recognize and repel any attacks our disease makes on us.
One of the best weapons in our arsenal, sorry I just prefer to think of it as a battle, for those of you who like the more traditional terms one of the best tools in our toolbox is other sober people. That will be the subject of Monday's post, the many many ways to have sober support, including from people who are not in recovery.!!
Blessed Be Everyone! Have a great weekend!
Sometimes this is the most rewarding part of being sober. Getting up every day, knowing what we've done for the last day, week, month, whatever length of time, and knowing that we are doing everything we're supposed to be doing.
We actually get up, shower, get dressed, go to work, school, program, whatever we do with our day. We also handle the everyday things in life, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and so on. For a lot of us, there was a time when very little, if any, of this stuff got done on a weekly, much less a daily basis.
Sometimes, despite all this, we feel that there is something missing, or that we've done something wrong. I know personally, I get an attack of the guilts at least twice a month. And this is not guilt for something I've done or haven't done. This is just out-of-nowhere, totally blindsiding me guilt!!
Unfortunately, this is also sometimes part of daily sober life. When I have these feelings I just look back over the last few days and ask myself have I done everything I'm supposed to do? Was I where I should have been on time and did I do my best at whatever I tried? If I can honestly answer yes to those questions then I'm halfway to knowing that the guilt is just my disease playing mind games.
Getting the rest of the way to knowing the guilt comes from my disease and not my conscience is a little bit harder. I have to go over my last few days and make sure that I've treated people right. Have I done my best to be tolerant and understanding even when I've been annoyed.? If I can honestly answer that question yes, or if I've apologized to someone I treated unfairly because I was in a mood, then I know the guilts are just a symptom of my disease.
Unfortunately, the guilts and similar bad feelings are part of the lifelong battle of addiction. It really doesn't matter how long we've been sober, there is something inside of us that would love to see us self-destruct and die. We know this, and we battle it, that's how we got sober in the first place!!
But our disease is not one to give up easily, or actually, to give up ever!! We must constantly question any self-doubt that comes our way, no matter its form. The trick is questioning it honestly. If we are having bad feelings that are justified-that we have done something to earn-then it is time to slow down and focus on our recovery again, and maybe let a little of the day-to-day blah blah stuff slide.
By focusing on our recovery we also focus on bettering ourselves and living up to our full potential, because really that's what recovery is on its most basic level-being the best person that we can be! If we are truly trying our best, then we can more easily recognize and repel any attacks our disease makes on us.
One of the best weapons in our arsenal, sorry I just prefer to think of it as a battle, for those of you who like the more traditional terms one of the best tools in our toolbox is other sober people. That will be the subject of Monday's post, the many many ways to have sober support, including from people who are not in recovery.!!
Blessed Be Everyone! Have a great weekend!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Gratitude
I really find that gratitude is one of the things that I have to remember to find time for. Not that I'm not grateful, just that, like so many people, I'm so focused on what I have to do and where I want to be in life that I forget to take the time to appreciate what I have.
I remember in early sobriety being grateful is not always easy. Many of us have lost jobs, family contact, relationships, property, sometimes we don't even have a place to live. There can be times that even being alive seems like more of a burden than a blessing.
You don't have to be grateful for everything, especially at first. Try just being grateful for how pretty the moon, the sunrise, the sunset looks. Be grateful that you can walk, or see, if you are able to do those things.
Eventually, as we get some sober time under our belts, it becomes easier to be grateful, we have some things back, perhaps a job, a new chance at a relationship, better relations with our family.
And then we are back to living life all the time, and not so focused all the time on recovery. This is when it becomes easy to not be grateful. To get caught up in the day to day of living and wanting; the better job, the newer car, the bigger TV. Now I'm as guilty as anyone of this.
Fortunately, my Spirit Guides know that I easily get caught up in day to day living and they frequently send me reminders. I don't drive so I walk a little over a mile to get to work 3 nights a week. Almost every nite the moon is out in all her glory. Even when she isn't out, she is there, lighting up unique and beautiful patterns in the clouds!!
Seeing the moon as I'm walking to work, reminds me how lucky I am to have a great job, hell in this economy, any job is reason to be grateful. It also reminds me I can walk, I can see, I can do anything!! All reasons to be grateful.
And there are more reasons when I get home. My two cats, Googles and Silva, greet me at the door happy to see me. I have two little creatures that depend on me, that I am now able to take very good care of, since I'm sober, and that love me. I also have a fairly decent apartment. Its nothing great, in fact I am hoping to move in the next few months to something better, but its someplace warm and safe at night. Someplace I can afford to stay, that gave me a place to live while I reached a point in my recovery where it is time to reach for something more.
Most importantly I am grateful that I am sober and have the nearly 4 years under my belt that I do. Being sober gave me all those other gifts that I have every day. After all, if I'd kept drinking I"d be dead by now I'm sure, either from the alcohol or at my own hand.
Instead, I have a life and both the ability and opportunity to continue bettering myself. I will finish my accounting degree if not in the fall, then in the spring, I have this blog, and a small daily blog on www.keen.com/HelpfulTeresa where I just post a daily inspiration and my interpretation of it. I am also building up a decent business doing my psychic readings. And I am becoming closer to my Spirit Guide(s) and better at my craft on a daily basis.
Truly, I just need to take the time every day to remember all these blessings and to focus on them instead of any negatives that may have happened to me that day!!
Blessed Be!
I remember in early sobriety being grateful is not always easy. Many of us have lost jobs, family contact, relationships, property, sometimes we don't even have a place to live. There can be times that even being alive seems like more of a burden than a blessing.
You don't have to be grateful for everything, especially at first. Try just being grateful for how pretty the moon, the sunrise, the sunset looks. Be grateful that you can walk, or see, if you are able to do those things.
Eventually, as we get some sober time under our belts, it becomes easier to be grateful, we have some things back, perhaps a job, a new chance at a relationship, better relations with our family.
And then we are back to living life all the time, and not so focused all the time on recovery. This is when it becomes easy to not be grateful. To get caught up in the day to day of living and wanting; the better job, the newer car, the bigger TV. Now I'm as guilty as anyone of this.
Fortunately, my Spirit Guides know that I easily get caught up in day to day living and they frequently send me reminders. I don't drive so I walk a little over a mile to get to work 3 nights a week. Almost every nite the moon is out in all her glory. Even when she isn't out, she is there, lighting up unique and beautiful patterns in the clouds!!
Seeing the moon as I'm walking to work, reminds me how lucky I am to have a great job, hell in this economy, any job is reason to be grateful. It also reminds me I can walk, I can see, I can do anything!! All reasons to be grateful.
And there are more reasons when I get home. My two cats, Googles and Silva, greet me at the door happy to see me. I have two little creatures that depend on me, that I am now able to take very good care of, since I'm sober, and that love me. I also have a fairly decent apartment. Its nothing great, in fact I am hoping to move in the next few months to something better, but its someplace warm and safe at night. Someplace I can afford to stay, that gave me a place to live while I reached a point in my recovery where it is time to reach for something more.
Most importantly I am grateful that I am sober and have the nearly 4 years under my belt that I do. Being sober gave me all those other gifts that I have every day. After all, if I'd kept drinking I"d be dead by now I'm sure, either from the alcohol or at my own hand.
Instead, I have a life and both the ability and opportunity to continue bettering myself. I will finish my accounting degree if not in the fall, then in the spring, I have this blog, and a small daily blog on www.keen.com/HelpfulTeresa where I just post a daily inspiration and my interpretation of it. I am also building up a decent business doing my psychic readings. And I am becoming closer to my Spirit Guide(s) and better at my craft on a daily basis.
Truly, I just need to take the time every day to remember all these blessings and to focus on them instead of any negatives that may have happened to me that day!!
Blessed Be!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Candle Meditation
For the first week of letter C I wanted to post about candle meditation. This was actually the first meditation I was able to do successfully.
I would try to meditate and, of course, millions of thoughts jumped through my scattered brain and the kitties would want to play. After all Mom was just sitting there, she didn't have the tarot cards in the way, she wasn't typing on the computer, it must have been kittytime!!
Then I heard about candle meditation. Just focusing on the flame of a candle. This worked perfectly for me. I had something I could focus on without thinking, and because there was some motion to it, the cats even seemed content to watch.
After a couple of times of just watching the flame and relaxing I realized that my breathing automatically slowed and deepened while I was meditating. I knew this was my guides telling me it was time to advance my meditations.
So, I began focusing not just on the flame and the motion and colors of it but also on the heat it put out. I would feel the heat enveloping me, just warmth and peace, never burning.
Next, I began visualizing the color of the candle spreading forth as the candle melted, and enveloping me and my aura in whatever color I had chosen. If I knew a particular chakra was just not working right, or was closed, I would burn a candle of the corresponding color. If all of my chakras needed work, as happens sometimes, or if none of them did, as happens rarely!!lol, I would burn either a white or a black candle, depending on my mood.
Very soon, I realized that just by taking a basic candle meditation and advancing it step by step I had not only become able to meditate, but I could meditate anywhere at any time. This took a little bit longer to actualize.
First I realized that I had gotten better at visualization, so I began to visualize a candle flame to meditate on, even though I hadn't yet lit the candle. Next, I began to visualize this when there was no candle in sight. Finally, I found I could visualize the lit candle anyplace I happened to be when I wanted to meditate: the bus, waiting at the doctor's office, in line at the store.
Now I can meditate anywhere, and with the improved visualization I learned from candle meditation I can follow guided meditations and my magick has improved too!!
Sometimes it is the simplest things that lead us to the most growth!
Blessed Be!
I would try to meditate and, of course, millions of thoughts jumped through my scattered brain and the kitties would want to play. After all Mom was just sitting there, she didn't have the tarot cards in the way, she wasn't typing on the computer, it must have been kittytime!!
Then I heard about candle meditation. Just focusing on the flame of a candle. This worked perfectly for me. I had something I could focus on without thinking, and because there was some motion to it, the cats even seemed content to watch.
After a couple of times of just watching the flame and relaxing I realized that my breathing automatically slowed and deepened while I was meditating. I knew this was my guides telling me it was time to advance my meditations.
So, I began focusing not just on the flame and the motion and colors of it but also on the heat it put out. I would feel the heat enveloping me, just warmth and peace, never burning.
Next, I began visualizing the color of the candle spreading forth as the candle melted, and enveloping me and my aura in whatever color I had chosen. If I knew a particular chakra was just not working right, or was closed, I would burn a candle of the corresponding color. If all of my chakras needed work, as happens sometimes, or if none of them did, as happens rarely!!lol, I would burn either a white or a black candle, depending on my mood.
Very soon, I realized that just by taking a basic candle meditation and advancing it step by step I had not only become able to meditate, but I could meditate anywhere at any time. This took a little bit longer to actualize.
First I realized that I had gotten better at visualization, so I began to visualize a candle flame to meditate on, even though I hadn't yet lit the candle. Next, I began to visualize this when there was no candle in sight. Finally, I found I could visualize the lit candle anyplace I happened to be when I wanted to meditate: the bus, waiting at the doctor's office, in line at the store.
Now I can meditate anywhere, and with the improved visualization I learned from candle meditation I can follow guided meditations and my magick has improved too!!
Sometimes it is the simplest things that lead us to the most growth!
Blessed Be!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Old Behaviors-Sometimes in New Guises
I know we are all told in recovery that we have to watch out for old behaviors-we all know the big ones, lying, evading, keeping things to ourselves. But what about the everyday ones, the ones that we don't even notice we are doing?
For myself, part of this behavior comes from my depression. I tend to withdraw, and I don't mean just to be quiet. I mean not leaving my apartment or getting out of bed for days sometimes. When drinking, I would only leave to get more booze, and then only if I couldn't get it delivered. Hell, I used to order subs from one shop because I knew the driver and he'd bring me a bottle with my order!!
I still find myself doing this, wanting to just withdraw from the world. There are still many days that I want to call in sick to work and just stay in bed, or not even call, to just pull the covers up over my head and disappear. Fortunately, I am aware of the consequences of such actions and force my butt to get up and go to work daily. I'm not so good about forcing myself to leave the apartment on my days off though.
I also work a job from home and am really having to make an effort to get myself online to work more than sporadically. So, I now email my customers a schedule of when I'll be available to force myself to get up and function.
This same principle can apply to any behavior. The person who drives through the old neighborhood where they used to score drugs on their way to/home from the store, work, wherever. Especially when there are other routes that really are not that far out of the way.
One of the ways I can tell I need to focus on my sobriety is if I find myself noticing the bars in the area. I walk quite a bit, I don't drive, so I am always walking to run errands. I also live in an urban area where there are a lot of bars. The days I find myself noticing them, or thinking it would be okay to stop in to get an order of potato skins, that I can get just as easily right down the street at a restaurant that is NOT a bar, are the days I know I need to spend some time working on myself.
I find it very easy sometimes to tell myself I am just being aware of my surroundings when I notice the new bars opening. What a load of crap! Its my disease trying to subtly ease its way back into my life. I can be aware of a business without having to stare into it or think about stopping in. After all, I'm aware of the new smoke shops and pawn shops that open up but I never think of going in to check them out!!
None of us can stop our disease from trying to worm its way back into our lives, but by being aware of our actions, even if it means constantly asking ourselves why am I going this way? doing this thing? speaking to this person? we can prevent it from becoming a part of our lives again.
For myself, part of this behavior comes from my depression. I tend to withdraw, and I don't mean just to be quiet. I mean not leaving my apartment or getting out of bed for days sometimes. When drinking, I would only leave to get more booze, and then only if I couldn't get it delivered. Hell, I used to order subs from one shop because I knew the driver and he'd bring me a bottle with my order!!
I still find myself doing this, wanting to just withdraw from the world. There are still many days that I want to call in sick to work and just stay in bed, or not even call, to just pull the covers up over my head and disappear. Fortunately, I am aware of the consequences of such actions and force my butt to get up and go to work daily. I'm not so good about forcing myself to leave the apartment on my days off though.
I also work a job from home and am really having to make an effort to get myself online to work more than sporadically. So, I now email my customers a schedule of when I'll be available to force myself to get up and function.
This same principle can apply to any behavior. The person who drives through the old neighborhood where they used to score drugs on their way to/home from the store, work, wherever. Especially when there are other routes that really are not that far out of the way.
One of the ways I can tell I need to focus on my sobriety is if I find myself noticing the bars in the area. I walk quite a bit, I don't drive, so I am always walking to run errands. I also live in an urban area where there are a lot of bars. The days I find myself noticing them, or thinking it would be okay to stop in to get an order of potato skins, that I can get just as easily right down the street at a restaurant that is NOT a bar, are the days I know I need to spend some time working on myself.
I find it very easy sometimes to tell myself I am just being aware of my surroundings when I notice the new bars opening. What a load of crap! Its my disease trying to subtly ease its way back into my life. I can be aware of a business without having to stare into it or think about stopping in. After all, I'm aware of the new smoke shops and pawn shops that open up but I never think of going in to check them out!!
None of us can stop our disease from trying to worm its way back into our lives, but by being aware of our actions, even if it means constantly asking ourselves why am I going this way? doing this thing? speaking to this person? we can prevent it from becoming a part of our lives again.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I've Been Tagged
See, this is the balance that comes into my life for being so happy to have found and online pagan community that accepted me instantly-I get tagged. LOL Its all good!
I was tagged by Tree Gold and Bee Gold.
Okay, if I understand this correctly, the first thing I must do is post the rules:
I would sleep late, rent some videos, and order lots of food in, then just veg out in front of the TV. Of course I'd have to do some baking and some reading during the day too, and I can't help multitasking so I'd crochet as I watched the videos.
2. Did you have a childhood pet?
Yes, we had a couple of different dogs as I was growing up. But the one that captured my heart was a Pekingese named Fuji-Yama. He was the runt of the litter and very sick when he was a puppy so he was a pretty quiet little dog. He was my best buddy at home.
3. If you could move anywhere ( and be sure of a job, etc) where would it be?
San Francisco, I don't really know why, I have just felt incredibly drawn to being there the past few years, and its not that far from LA which is a plus for a huge TV/movie fanatic like me.
4. Do you do any type of crafts?
Yes, I do-I crochet and I do candle making. I haven't mastered knitting yet, but I can crochet almost anything, if you give me enough time to work out a pattern and to play at it if something doesn't work.
5. What is one of your favorite holiday dishes to cook?
Christmas cookies!! I love to bake and actually any holiday is good for me to make dozens of cookies and many different types.
6. What is your favorite shape?
Mine is a spiral; again I don't know why, I've just loved the way they look since I was a child.
7. Morning person or not?
This is a little difficult. I generally work overnights so my morning starts at about 7pm. I am definitely a night person, and I'm really very efficient when I first get up so I guess I'm a morning person, just my morning is everyone else's night!!!
8. How do you take your coffee and/or tea?
I actually drink mainly Pepsi Max, and yes that includes first thing when I get up. I do enjoy tea, usually with honey and lemon, though sometimes herbal teas I will drink without anything extra added. Not a coffee fan at all, not even flavored, foamed, macchiatoed, whatever you do to them coffees. lol
9. What is your preferred movie genre?
Definitely action, with suspense running a close second. So not into the whole gore and/or torture porn things. They're not scary, they're actually just kind of pathetic, though I do admire the Rube Goldberg ways of killing people in the Final Destination movies.
10. Were you ever a "wild child"?
Not when I was an actual child, I was actually the geeky, brainy type. I was much more of a wild child in my twenties when my drinking and partying days really started.
11. How geeky are you on a scale of 1-10?
I would have to say I'm around a 7 on a general scale and maybe an 8.5 on movie and TV trivia.
The 11 Questions I'm Asking
Who I'm Tagging
1. Faeries Wheel
2. Dark Wiccan
3. Merlyn's Magick
4. Magick Diva
5. Mists of Manannán
6. Chaos Witch
7. The Pagan In Me
8. The Twisting Path
9. A Witch's Journey
10. A Witch's World of Wonder
11. The Life of An Imperfect Pagan
Of course anyone who doesn't want to participate or who has already been tagged, don't do it!! This is supposed to be fun, don't forget that!!
I was tagged by Tree Gold and Bee Gold.
Okay, if I understand this correctly, the first thing I must do is post the rules:
The Rules
- Post these rules.
- You must post 11 random thoughts about yourself.
- Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
- Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
- Go to their blog and tell them you have tagged them.
- No stuff in the tagging section about 'you are tagged if you are reading this.' blah, blah, blah, you legitimately have to tag 11 people
Now, 11 Random Thoughts About Myself
- I went to the NYS finals for spelling bee champion in the 6th grade.
- I miss my great grandmother almost every day. She taught me to crochet when I was so young I don't remember learning, but I do remember making entire afghans at age 7. She also gave me my love of baking. Miss you Nana.
- Despite what people told me for years, I really don't regret not having children, I'm just not cut out for that.
- I am really making an effort to get the money together to move before I return to school in the summer. I want an apartment with 2 bedrooms so I don't have to have my office in my bedroom.
- I have repeatedly tried to get my Associates Degree in Accounting and have always ended up dropping out when my drinking got out of control I'm really sure I'll be able to finish that degree by the end of the year. (As long as the class I need fits into my schedule in the fall, that is.)
- I was a total brain in high school and hated every minute of it.
- I look back on many of the things I did when drinking and cringe; but I also thank Goddess for letting me live through them, because I really like the person I am today.
- I live to sit home alone in the dark and watch scary movies, not gore or torture porn, but really scary ones. "Fallen" is a favorite.
- I love Mexican and Chinese food, as well as comfort foods like casseroles and meatloaf.
- My man was over one night when "True Blood' came on and instead of rolling his eyes as I tried to explain who everyone was, he listened, watched and even asked about characters when they came on screen if he didn't know who they were. Awesome or what?
- I have fallen out of touch with my family due to my drinking but would love to reestablish those bonds.
From Tree Gold and Bee Gold
I would sleep late, rent some videos, and order lots of food in, then just veg out in front of the TV. Of course I'd have to do some baking and some reading during the day too, and I can't help multitasking so I'd crochet as I watched the videos.
2. Did you have a childhood pet?
Yes, we had a couple of different dogs as I was growing up. But the one that captured my heart was a Pekingese named Fuji-Yama. He was the runt of the litter and very sick when he was a puppy so he was a pretty quiet little dog. He was my best buddy at home.
3. If you could move anywhere ( and be sure of a job, etc) where would it be?
San Francisco, I don't really know why, I have just felt incredibly drawn to being there the past few years, and its not that far from LA which is a plus for a huge TV/movie fanatic like me.
4. Do you do any type of crafts?
Yes, I do-I crochet and I do candle making. I haven't mastered knitting yet, but I can crochet almost anything, if you give me enough time to work out a pattern and to play at it if something doesn't work.
5. What is one of your favorite holiday dishes to cook?
Christmas cookies!! I love to bake and actually any holiday is good for me to make dozens of cookies and many different types.
6. What is your favorite shape?
Mine is a spiral; again I don't know why, I've just loved the way they look since I was a child.
7. Morning person or not?
This is a little difficult. I generally work overnights so my morning starts at about 7pm. I am definitely a night person, and I'm really very efficient when I first get up so I guess I'm a morning person, just my morning is everyone else's night!!!
8. How do you take your coffee and/or tea?
I actually drink mainly Pepsi Max, and yes that includes first thing when I get up. I do enjoy tea, usually with honey and lemon, though sometimes herbal teas I will drink without anything extra added. Not a coffee fan at all, not even flavored, foamed, macchiatoed, whatever you do to them coffees. lol
9. What is your preferred movie genre?
Definitely action, with suspense running a close second. So not into the whole gore and/or torture porn things. They're not scary, they're actually just kind of pathetic, though I do admire the Rube Goldberg ways of killing people in the Final Destination movies.
10. Were you ever a "wild child"?
Not when I was an actual child, I was actually the geeky, brainy type. I was much more of a wild child in my twenties when my drinking and partying days really started.
11. How geeky are you on a scale of 1-10?
I would have to say I'm around a 7 on a general scale and maybe an 8.5 on movie and TV trivia.
The 11 Questions I'm Asking
- What is your favorite mindless entertainment?
- What has been your favorite age?
- Cat person or dog person?
- What is your favorite holiday?
- What's your favorite time of day?
- And your favorite season?
- And lastly for favorites holiday?
- Where would you most like to visit?
- What was your best vacation?
- What would your perfect vacation be?
- What would your perfect day be like?
Who I'm Tagging
1. Faeries Wheel
2. Dark Wiccan
3. Merlyn's Magick
4. Magick Diva
5. Mists of Manannán
6. Chaos Witch
7. The Pagan In Me
8. The Twisting Path
9. A Witch's Journey
10. A Witch's World of Wonder
11. The Life of An Imperfect Pagan
Of course anyone who doesn't want to participate or who has already been tagged, don't do it!! This is supposed to be fun, don't forget that!!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Acceptance-And What We Must Suck Up
I know, I know, the correct terminology is accepting those things we cannot change. That sounds so noble and peaceful. But lets face it, a lot of us, especially early in sobriety, are not really looking to be noble and peaceful, we just want to learn ways to suck it up.
And you know what, sucking it up works just fine, until you can make peace with the things that are out of your control. Personally, I'm much better now at just accepting most things I can't change, but sometimes something comes along that really does stick in my craw. I've learned over the years that drinking won't change the things I don't like in life, whining about them doesn't work, temper tantrums-waste of energy!
So, I just suck it up until I can make peace with it.
Making peace with things we can't change, that's a huge part of acceptance. For me personally, its pretty easy to look at the other side of the situation. I may not always agree with the other side, but I can at least understand their point in my head, if not my heart. Once I have at least an intellectual understanding of something I really dislike, its easier to just let go of it.
People are a great example of this. Personally, I have a real problem with judgmental and/or prejudiced people. A lot of my problem is because they only see what they want to see, they refuse to consider other opinions, or take anything other than their beliefs into account.
But you know what, that is their problem. It is not up to me to make them better people. I don't have to hang around with these people. Depending on my life situation at a given time I may have to work with them, or be neighbors with them, but I don't have to spend personal time with them. What works for me is realizing that's where they are on their journey through life, and that's okay. They must be there for a reason. Its not where I am, so I just stay away from their negativity.
We also can't change other people's attitudes about us, at least not overnight. Those of us in recovery, all we can do is stay strong and show every day that we are doing the right things and that we are on the right path. Eventually, most people will come around as they see us making the effort. Those people that have closed their minds and hearts to us; we really don't need them anyway. We don't need their negativity dragging us down.
A lot of times, we may have been what closed their minds. We all did things when we were active in our addictions that hurt others, as well as ourselves. We may very well have hurt others to the point that they can't forgive us, and that is something that we have to live with.
It is also one of the most important things that we need to accept. WE did ALL those things. Granted, we did most of them under the influence of mind-altering substances, or when we were so wrapped up in our addiction that our thinking was distorted, but WE STILL DID THEM. I have lost some sober friends who decided well, it wasn't ME that did that, it was the alcohol, cocaine, insert drug of choice here.
That is a load of crap!! It was still Me or You. We did it, and we have to admit that to ourselves. I find it very helpful,especially when random memories of things I really don't want to remember come to me, to realize, that's who I was THEN. The person I am now would never do those things, and would never live like that.
We need to accept and remember who we were, but now we get to live with the knowledge that that person is in the past. That person helped make us the strong person we are today, but it is not who we are anymore. I saw this somewhere, I don't remember the author but I think its very appropriate "Don't Judge Me By My Past, I Don't Live There Anymore!"
That's what we have to do with ourselves and with others. Live in the moment, don't deny the past; but don't dwell in it either, and just stay away from the things that we know in our hearts are bad for us.
And you know what, sucking it up works just fine, until you can make peace with the things that are out of your control. Personally, I'm much better now at just accepting most things I can't change, but sometimes something comes along that really does stick in my craw. I've learned over the years that drinking won't change the things I don't like in life, whining about them doesn't work, temper tantrums-waste of energy!
So, I just suck it up until I can make peace with it.
Making peace with things we can't change, that's a huge part of acceptance. For me personally, its pretty easy to look at the other side of the situation. I may not always agree with the other side, but I can at least understand their point in my head, if not my heart. Once I have at least an intellectual understanding of something I really dislike, its easier to just let go of it.
People are a great example of this. Personally, I have a real problem with judgmental and/or prejudiced people. A lot of my problem is because they only see what they want to see, they refuse to consider other opinions, or take anything other than their beliefs into account.
But you know what, that is their problem. It is not up to me to make them better people. I don't have to hang around with these people. Depending on my life situation at a given time I may have to work with them, or be neighbors with them, but I don't have to spend personal time with them. What works for me is realizing that's where they are on their journey through life, and that's okay. They must be there for a reason. Its not where I am, so I just stay away from their negativity.
We also can't change other people's attitudes about us, at least not overnight. Those of us in recovery, all we can do is stay strong and show every day that we are doing the right things and that we are on the right path. Eventually, most people will come around as they see us making the effort. Those people that have closed their minds and hearts to us; we really don't need them anyway. We don't need their negativity dragging us down.
A lot of times, we may have been what closed their minds. We all did things when we were active in our addictions that hurt others, as well as ourselves. We may very well have hurt others to the point that they can't forgive us, and that is something that we have to live with.
It is also one of the most important things that we need to accept. WE did ALL those things. Granted, we did most of them under the influence of mind-altering substances, or when we were so wrapped up in our addiction that our thinking was distorted, but WE STILL DID THEM. I have lost some sober friends who decided well, it wasn't ME that did that, it was the alcohol, cocaine, insert drug of choice here.
That is a load of crap!! It was still Me or You. We did it, and we have to admit that to ourselves. I find it very helpful,especially when random memories of things I really don't want to remember come to me, to realize, that's who I was THEN. The person I am now would never do those things, and would never live like that.
We need to accept and remember who we were, but now we get to live with the knowledge that that person is in the past. That person helped make us the strong person we are today, but it is not who we are anymore. I saw this somewhere, I don't remember the author but I think its very appropriate "Don't Judge Me By My Past, I Don't Live There Anymore!"
That's what we have to do with ourselves and with others. Live in the moment, don't deny the past; but don't dwell in it either, and just stay away from the things that we know in our hearts are bad for us.
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