I admit, I am one of those witches who always forgets to write in my dream journal while the dreams are fresh in my mind. I get so caught up in what I'm doing that I forget to note it all down until later. But, I'm trying to get better.
I actually lately have been attempting some real work with dreams lately. I've been trying, with various degrees of success, to find solutions to problems, to foster a stronger connection with my spirit guides, to contact some deeply missed family members from beyond the veil, and to do some dream banishing work.
The problem solving seems to be working. I try to fall asleep while imagining perfect solutions to whatever problem I'm working on at the time. The next day, I never remember dreaming about the problem but a workable solution usually comes to me. So, either I solved the problem in my dream and my subconscious remembered or my guides give me a solution during the day. Either way, I'm given a workable solution to almost any problem within a day or two.
The stronger connection with my guides, also working, though not the way I would like. Gee, how is it that my spirit guides are not doing things my way?? LOL My connection with them is steadily growing stronger but I still don't have any real knowledge of them and of the kind of energy they represent. I'm receiving their messages more and more clearly, but I would love to just know more about them. Oh, well, I"m sure that will happen when they feel I am ready.
Contacting family members, I haven't had any success yet. I still know that they are near me, I still feel them, I just can't yet communicate with them. Again, I am sure that I will be able to when it is meant to happen.
The dream banishing work, now that I've been impressed with. I've only been trying to banish small things about myself that I know I need to change. One example is I have a bad habit of setting the alarm so I get up in time to do some housework before going to work. The alarm goes off and I get up and reset it for the last possible minute.
What I did for several days (I work mainly overnites and sleep afternoons) was I went to sleep and as I was going under I imagined myself jumping up at the alarm and actually doing my housework, paperwork, whatever I wanted to get done that evening. Within the first 2 days, I found myself, getting up,resetting the alarm, laying back down and being overwhelmed with restlessness. I wasn't able to go back to sleep, I had to get up.
Since I was up, I just went ahead and did the chores I wanted to get done. Within a week, there is no longer any real desire to reset the alarm most of the time. Sometimes I do still feel an overwhelming need to but those are usually days I am very exhausted, so I just go back to bed and get the extra sleep. My job schedule is mainly overnites but on weekends, I work in the afternoon one day and early evening one day so I get very little if any sleep those days. Usually it is Monday or Tuesday when I find myself truly needing the extra sleep, so it all makes sense.
Currently, I'm hoping to use dreamwork to motivate myself to exercise regularly. I would love to get into a daily routine of weights, Pilates, Yoga, and Tai Chi. Doing a varied combination of these each day is my goal and this weeks dreamwork project.
I'm hoping if I continue to achieve success with small things in my dreamwork for myself, that I will eventually be able to use it to expand my spiritual growth in ways I haven't thought of yet.
Blessed Be!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Taking Care of Our Health
Monday I wrote about how we need to have time for ourselves, today I want to write about taking care of ourselves.
When you spend years abusing substances, you do a lot of damage to your body. I gave myself chronic pancreatitis. Now, I haven't had an attack since I became sober, but I still have major stomach issues. Every time my sleep schedule is thrown off, which is a weekly event with my job schedule, I will be sick to my stomach for at least 2-3 days.
Because I've always had a stomach that acted out when I was stressed my normal instinct is to just ignore this. But, I'm older now, and I have all the damage done by the years of drinking. Ignoring what ails me is not really an option anymore. I have tried ignoring it, it does not go away. The 2-3 days becomes all week and ends up with me in bed unless I am on regular meds from my doctor.
I also need to see him regularly for other issues, at 47 I already have osteoporosis, something I probably wouldn't have yet if it hadn't been for the drinking. There is also a heavy family history of heart trouble, now all of my heart tests and stress tests come back A+, but the family history is there, and my years of drinking are there, so that also has to be monitored regularly.
On a day to day basis I generally feel pretty good, even on my bad tummy days; I'm used to my stomach rebelling regularly so unless its really bad, I just motor my through my stomach upsets. I want to enjoy my life now that I'm sober and I actually live it.
The only way to make sure I have enough life left to enjoy is to see the doctor regularly, something against my nature. Of course, I try to look at it this way, for a lot of years it was against my nature to stay sober. Going against my nature is not always such a bad idea, obviously!
I know a lot of people in recovery run for the doctor for every little ache and pain; that will probably be the subject of another post. But a lot of people are like me-we just don't want to go to the doctor until we are dying. Even in my drinking days, with an attack of pancreatitis I would never go for help until it was so bad that I would need to be hospitalized for several days. Since I didn't have any insurance, you can imagine how sick I must have been to be admitted for that long.
Today, I can't afford to do that. I have a lot of things I want to do, a lot of time to make up for. I can never get back the years that I lost to drinking, but if I take the time today to take care of myself physically then I will have a lot more years to enjoy and to do what I want.
Ignoring my health today is just another way of opening the door for my addiction to come back. If I don't feel well, if my mental defenses are down because I'm physically not at my best, then its easier for my thinking to become clouded and my judgment to lapse.
This is something I will not allow to happen, so I go to the doctor every 3 months, I take my daily tummy pill, my baby aspirin, all my other medically necessary pills. And whenever I think about what a pain it is to remember to take them,and to time them with meals and erratic sleeping schedules and everything else then I just think of all the things I want to do, and I know that the pills and the doctor visits are a necessary evil.
As I learn more about natural healing and holistic methods I will hopefully come to rely on my doctor for less pills and just visit him to keep tabs on my conditions. But I am still very new to learning about those methods-I'll keep you posted!
Blessed Be!
When you spend years abusing substances, you do a lot of damage to your body. I gave myself chronic pancreatitis. Now, I haven't had an attack since I became sober, but I still have major stomach issues. Every time my sleep schedule is thrown off, which is a weekly event with my job schedule, I will be sick to my stomach for at least 2-3 days.
Because I've always had a stomach that acted out when I was stressed my normal instinct is to just ignore this. But, I'm older now, and I have all the damage done by the years of drinking. Ignoring what ails me is not really an option anymore. I have tried ignoring it, it does not go away. The 2-3 days becomes all week and ends up with me in bed unless I am on regular meds from my doctor.
I also need to see him regularly for other issues, at 47 I already have osteoporosis, something I probably wouldn't have yet if it hadn't been for the drinking. There is also a heavy family history of heart trouble, now all of my heart tests and stress tests come back A+, but the family history is there, and my years of drinking are there, so that also has to be monitored regularly.
On a day to day basis I generally feel pretty good, even on my bad tummy days; I'm used to my stomach rebelling regularly so unless its really bad, I just motor my through my stomach upsets. I want to enjoy my life now that I'm sober and I actually live it.
The only way to make sure I have enough life left to enjoy is to see the doctor regularly, something against my nature. Of course, I try to look at it this way, for a lot of years it was against my nature to stay sober. Going against my nature is not always such a bad idea, obviously!
I know a lot of people in recovery run for the doctor for every little ache and pain; that will probably be the subject of another post. But a lot of people are like me-we just don't want to go to the doctor until we are dying. Even in my drinking days, with an attack of pancreatitis I would never go for help until it was so bad that I would need to be hospitalized for several days. Since I didn't have any insurance, you can imagine how sick I must have been to be admitted for that long.
Today, I can't afford to do that. I have a lot of things I want to do, a lot of time to make up for. I can never get back the years that I lost to drinking, but if I take the time today to take care of myself physically then I will have a lot more years to enjoy and to do what I want.
Ignoring my health today is just another way of opening the door for my addiction to come back. If I don't feel well, if my mental defenses are down because I'm physically not at my best, then its easier for my thinking to become clouded and my judgment to lapse.
This is something I will not allow to happen, so I go to the doctor every 3 months, I take my daily tummy pill, my baby aspirin, all my other medically necessary pills. And whenever I think about what a pain it is to remember to take them,and to time them with meals and erratic sleeping schedules and everything else then I just think of all the things I want to do, and I know that the pills and the doctor visits are a necessary evil.
As I learn more about natural healing and holistic methods I will hopefully come to rely on my doctor for less pills and just visit him to keep tabs on my conditions. But I am still very new to learning about those methods-I'll keep you posted!
Blessed Be!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
B is for Body-Pagan Blog Project
I know I still have an A blog to catch up on, but I was inspired to skip ahead and do the B blog first.
I know many witches, occasionally including myself, tend to minimize how important our bodies themselves are in spell casting, in worship, in everything. We tend to put taking care of ourselves on the back burner to jobs, relationships, kids, Facebook, YouTube, you name it- we put ourselves on hold to deal with it.
Truly, our bodies are not just our temple, but all that we need to honor our deities and guides, to cast spells, in fact, to do almost anything.
Sometimes we get so caught up in making sure we are using the right herbs and colors, and having the right planetary correspondences, and that our ritual is planned just right and ncludes everything, that we forget-we're witches and the power is WITHIN us.
Lets be honest, we can use the best of everything, with the best of correspondences and timing but if our body is out of whack at the time, so will our spell work be out of whack.
I have cast my most powerful circles using just my hands, no athame, no candles, no anything extra, just ME! I have also had some of my best results from spells that I cast when I was alone with me and nothing else.
Now I am certainly not saying that using any and all tools available to us is not a good idea. Absolutely use correspondences, but first, make sure your body is strong and healthy. When we take care of ourselves physically-exercise, eating right, enough sleep, then not only are we physically stronger, but we become mentally and emotionally stronger.
And lets be honest, that is where the real strength of our spells lie, within us. Using correspondences can strengthen what we have, sometimes incredibly so, but if we are starting from a weak base (body or mind) we can never really cast a strong spell.
This also applies when trying to communicate with our deities and guides just not as much. A weakened body will make it harder for us to connect with them, but when our deities and guides want to connect with us, they will make that connection as strong as it needs to be regardless of our current connection.
But wouldn't it be nice to know that we were doing our share to make that communication happen clearly and easily? To be in good health so we can communicate better and more fully with our deities and guides?
This is why taking care of our bodies should be our first priority, not only because it will make us feel better, but because it is one of the most basic ways to honor and show respect for the Divine and all that represents. \
Blessed Be!
I know many witches, occasionally including myself, tend to minimize how important our bodies themselves are in spell casting, in worship, in everything. We tend to put taking care of ourselves on the back burner to jobs, relationships, kids, Facebook, YouTube, you name it- we put ourselves on hold to deal with it.
Truly, our bodies are not just our temple, but all that we need to honor our deities and guides, to cast spells, in fact, to do almost anything.
Sometimes we get so caught up in making sure we are using the right herbs and colors, and having the right planetary correspondences, and that our ritual is planned just right and ncludes everything, that we forget-we're witches and the power is WITHIN us.
Lets be honest, we can use the best of everything, with the best of correspondences and timing but if our body is out of whack at the time, so will our spell work be out of whack.
I have cast my most powerful circles using just my hands, no athame, no candles, no anything extra, just ME! I have also had some of my best results from spells that I cast when I was alone with me and nothing else.
Now I am certainly not saying that using any and all tools available to us is not a good idea. Absolutely use correspondences, but first, make sure your body is strong and healthy. When we take care of ourselves physically-exercise, eating right, enough sleep, then not only are we physically stronger, but we become mentally and emotionally stronger.
And lets be honest, that is where the real strength of our spells lie, within us. Using correspondences can strengthen what we have, sometimes incredibly so, but if we are starting from a weak base (body or mind) we can never really cast a strong spell.
This also applies when trying to communicate with our deities and guides just not as much. A weakened body will make it harder for us to connect with them, but when our deities and guides want to connect with us, they will make that connection as strong as it needs to be regardless of our current connection.
But wouldn't it be nice to know that we were doing our share to make that communication happen clearly and easily? To be in good health so we can communicate better and more fully with our deities and guides?
This is why taking care of our bodies should be our first priority, not only because it will make us feel better, but because it is one of the most basic ways to honor and show respect for the Divine and all that represents. \
Blessed Be!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
D for Divination-Pagan Blog Project
Since I currently work as a psychic, and am trying to build my business this seemed like a no-brainer, which is actually why I didn't write the post sooner. I don't usually like to do things the easy way, I'd rather write about something I'm learning more about-dream magick for example. (Yes, that will be the next D post)
However, then I realized that I actually am learning more divination and becoming much stronger at it as time goes on. This shouldn't surprise me, it happened several years ago, when I was also working as a psychic.
This time around though I'm learning more divination methods than just tarot, what I've always used. I have found myself becoming much more clairsentient as my guides just let me know things during a reading. The spreads are now much more of a gateway for me, than they are something that I actually interpret card by card.
I've also started working with a pendulum and am having incredible results. I much prefer using the pendulum when I am trying to use divination for myself because I've noticed the cards usually show what I want the outcome to be instead of what the outcome actually will be. This doesn't happen with the pendulum. I've received incredibly accurate results with my pendulum,and can't wait to work more with the energies and guides that are connected with it.
I am also beginning to work with runes and to study astrology. I am hoping that the runes as I become more familiar with them will provide a gateway to different energies and guides that I can work with.
The best part of becoming more familiar with my guides through divination is that it has made it so much easier for me to recognize when my guides are telling me something all throughout my life, not just when I'm working. As a recovering alcoholic I always have to be at least a little cautious about which instincts I listen to.
Working so much with divination has made it much easier for me to know when its my guides pointing me in a certain direction, and when its my disease. This is definitely a good thing, not just for maintaining my sobriety but also for my own spiritual development.
I am really looking forward to having my relationship with my guides and my abilities grow. I know that with my inner strength and the support of my guides, and my force of will, there is no limit to what I will be able to do in time. I've already remade myself and conquered my addiction, that's proof right there that anything is possible!!
Blessed Be!
However, then I realized that I actually am learning more divination and becoming much stronger at it as time goes on. This shouldn't surprise me, it happened several years ago, when I was also working as a psychic.
This time around though I'm learning more divination methods than just tarot, what I've always used. I have found myself becoming much more clairsentient as my guides just let me know things during a reading. The spreads are now much more of a gateway for me, than they are something that I actually interpret card by card.
I've also started working with a pendulum and am having incredible results. I much prefer using the pendulum when I am trying to use divination for myself because I've noticed the cards usually show what I want the outcome to be instead of what the outcome actually will be. This doesn't happen with the pendulum. I've received incredibly accurate results with my pendulum,and can't wait to work more with the energies and guides that are connected with it.
I am also beginning to work with runes and to study astrology. I am hoping that the runes as I become more familiar with them will provide a gateway to different energies and guides that I can work with.
The best part of becoming more familiar with my guides through divination is that it has made it so much easier for me to recognize when my guides are telling me something all throughout my life, not just when I'm working. As a recovering alcoholic I always have to be at least a little cautious about which instincts I listen to.
Working so much with divination has made it much easier for me to know when its my guides pointing me in a certain direction, and when its my disease. This is definitely a good thing, not just for maintaining my sobriety but also for my own spiritual development.
I am really looking forward to having my relationship with my guides and my abilities grow. I know that with my inner strength and the support of my guides, and my force of will, there is no limit to what I will be able to do in time. I've already remade myself and conquered my addiction, that's proof right there that anything is possible!!
Blessed Be!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Inspired By The Woods
I just want to let everyone know abut a weekend in May that I'm really looking forward to. It's called "Inspired By The Woods" A Holistic Weekend, and it is a fundraiser held by Pure Path Products and Services purepath.co.nr . The proceeds are going toward their dream of opening a Holistic Healing Center for survivors of abuse and trauma in both Rochester, NY and Comstock, FL. The weekend is from 10am Friday May 11th until 2pm Sunday May 13th.
This is basically a back-to-nature weekend with classes being held in Ancient Chinese Medicine, Belly Dancing, Yoga, Meditation, Kick Boxing, Art, and seminars will be held on Addictive Behavior and Trauma. Many of these classes are being held more than once, so that you don't have to miss anything you want to participate in. Of course, you don't have to do anything except relax, enjoy nature and enjoy yourself.
Children are welcome and there will be children's activities including hiking, rock painting and art while the classes and seminars are being held for adults. There will also be vendors selling various products and services including readings and healings. You are welcome to come for the whole weekend or any part of it. There is still space for vendors, if you are interested please let us know.
The cost for the weekend is $160/adult $80/children under 13 for the entire weekend. There is a 10% discount if you sign up before February 28th. Partial rates are Friday $55, Saturday $70 and Sunday $40. The weekend accommodations are in cabins, there are 3 family cabins, 2 male and 2 female cabins, and 1 couples cabin. You do need to bring your own bedding. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are provided. We are asking that those able and willing bring some food to help defray the costs of dinner. Recommendations are pasta, rice, bread, gluten free items, and vegetables.
I am unfortunately not tech savvy enough to have been able to include the registration form on this blog. I apologize, I just can't figure out how to do it. The link to Pure Path, the event's sponsors is purepath.co.nr, you can also find this event on Facebook as Inspired By The Woods or join Pure Path on Facebook. For a registration form you can also email Kenneth Cuyler, President of Pure Path, at vishnushivaya.@yahoo.com
If you have any other questions and don't find answers on the web or Facebook sites please email me at helpfulteresa24@yahoo.com or leave me a message here. I, or someone from Pure Path, will get back to you within 48 hours with an answer.
Blessed Be!
This is basically a back-to-nature weekend with classes being held in Ancient Chinese Medicine, Belly Dancing, Yoga, Meditation, Kick Boxing, Art, and seminars will be held on Addictive Behavior and Trauma. Many of these classes are being held more than once, so that you don't have to miss anything you want to participate in. Of course, you don't have to do anything except relax, enjoy nature and enjoy yourself.
Children are welcome and there will be children's activities including hiking, rock painting and art while the classes and seminars are being held for adults. There will also be vendors selling various products and services including readings and healings. You are welcome to come for the whole weekend or any part of it. There is still space for vendors, if you are interested please let us know.
The cost for the weekend is $160/adult $80/children under 13 for the entire weekend. There is a 10% discount if you sign up before February 28th. Partial rates are Friday $55, Saturday $70 and Sunday $40. The weekend accommodations are in cabins, there are 3 family cabins, 2 male and 2 female cabins, and 1 couples cabin. You do need to bring your own bedding. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are provided. We are asking that those able and willing bring some food to help defray the costs of dinner. Recommendations are pasta, rice, bread, gluten free items, and vegetables.
I am unfortunately not tech savvy enough to have been able to include the registration form on this blog. I apologize, I just can't figure out how to do it. The link to Pure Path, the event's sponsors is purepath.co.nr, you can also find this event on Facebook as Inspired By The Woods or join Pure Path on Facebook. For a registration form you can also email Kenneth Cuyler, President of Pure Path, at vishnushivaya.@yahoo.com
If you have any other questions and don't find answers on the web or Facebook sites please email me at helpfulteresa24@yahoo.com or leave me a message here. I, or someone from Pure Path, will get back to you within 48 hours with an answer.
Blessed Be!
Monday, February 20, 2012
Time For Ourselves
This is something that so many people overlook and people in recovery may be even more likely to put this on the back burner because they are so busy trying to make up for all the time we've lost!
It is however, absolutely essential to not just our physical, mental, and emotional well-being, but also to our sobriety. Many times those of us in recovery have a hard time with this because our "me time" used to be getting drunk or high.
There are just so many ways to have some "me time": soak in a hot bath with bubbles or bath oils, sleep late, play with your pets or children, watch your guilty pleasures on TV, whatever floats your boat as long as it doesn't involve using!!
\
I know I frequently get so caught up in trying to do everything: work a full-time job, build my psychic business, write this blog, keep my apartment relatively clean and spend time with my deities and practicing my faith that I tend to put myself off til last.
Goddess usually reminds me when I've been doing too much of this, because she'll knock me right onto my pagan butt. I have always had stomach issues when I've been stressed, these were of course exacerbated by 20+ years of drinking into full-blown pancreatitis; so, when Goddess wants me to chill, she usually makes it impossible for me to do anything else!!!
I have to say that when I do take my down time, especially before it is pushed onto me, I am much stronger personally. I am better able to handle any curve balls that life throws at me, I don't overreact if someone asks me to do something differently, I accept constructive criticism in the spirit in which it was intended, I even do my daily workouts with pleasure.
But one of the best benefits for me, personally, of down time, is that I know that when my batteries are recharged and I am feeling stronger in all ways, I am much less likely to get sucked into the thinking that makes me consider drinking. I don't get angry as quickly and I definitely have more patience.
As my full-time job involves dealing with the general public having more patience is a very good thing. And, of course, a good mental attitude is essential to long-term sobriety. Some people can maintain their sobriety while being miserable but for the vast majority of us, we want to enjoy life while we're sober and we can do that better if we just take time to enjoy time with ourselves./
Blessed Be!
It is however, absolutely essential to not just our physical, mental, and emotional well-being, but also to our sobriety. Many times those of us in recovery have a hard time with this because our "me time" used to be getting drunk or high.
There are just so many ways to have some "me time": soak in a hot bath with bubbles or bath oils, sleep late, play with your pets or children, watch your guilty pleasures on TV, whatever floats your boat as long as it doesn't involve using!!
\
I know I frequently get so caught up in trying to do everything: work a full-time job, build my psychic business, write this blog, keep my apartment relatively clean and spend time with my deities and practicing my faith that I tend to put myself off til last.
Goddess usually reminds me when I've been doing too much of this, because she'll knock me right onto my pagan butt. I have always had stomach issues when I've been stressed, these were of course exacerbated by 20+ years of drinking into full-blown pancreatitis; so, when Goddess wants me to chill, she usually makes it impossible for me to do anything else!!!
I have to say that when I do take my down time, especially before it is pushed onto me, I am much stronger personally. I am better able to handle any curve balls that life throws at me, I don't overreact if someone asks me to do something differently, I accept constructive criticism in the spirit in which it was intended, I even do my daily workouts with pleasure.
But one of the best benefits for me, personally, of down time, is that I know that when my batteries are recharged and I am feeling stronger in all ways, I am much less likely to get sucked into the thinking that makes me consider drinking. I don't get angry as quickly and I definitely have more patience.
As my full-time job involves dealing with the general public having more patience is a very good thing. And, of course, a good mental attitude is essential to long-term sobriety. Some people can maintain their sobriety while being miserable but for the vast majority of us, we want to enjoy life while we're sober and we can do that better if we just take time to enjoy time with ourselves./
Blessed Be!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Intolerance
Intolerance is usually a much bigger problem with those that are new to sobriety. As we get time under our belts we begin to understand more and more that very little of the world is about us and to live and let live.
I have heard so many times that alcohol should be outlawed because of the damage it does to people. What so many people new to sobriety forget when they express this sentiment is that we are the minority!
Most people CAN handle their liquor, WE can't. Just because we have a problem with something doesn't give us the right to say no one should be able to use that substance.
This same sentiment carries into staying sober for many people. I hear so many people new to sobriety put down others who do things differently. "S/He'll never stay sober if s/he doesn't go to church, believe in God, leave his/her still drinking partner" and any of a million other things.
The problem with this thinking, is that sobriety is an individual road, we all have our own path, as in life. No one of us can speak for what will and what will not work for anyone except ourselves. Even the generally accepted norms have their exceptions. Most people in recovery will tell you that they couldn't be around booze all the time, but there are some people with many years of sobriety who tend bar for a living.
Likewise, most people believe in a higher spiritual power and rely on the support of that power to stay sober. But, there are many atheists that stay sober, they simply use something not spiritual as a higher power.
The beautiful thing about sobriety is that it is everyone's individual road, and that is something we must ALWAYS remember. What works to keep you sober will not work to keep me sober and vice versa.
This can be, however, a two-edged sword. Its very easy to look at one of the exceptions to the rule, for example, the sober person tending bar and say "I can do that." Unless you are one of the very few, no, you really can't.
One thing I have found to be more and more true as I gain time in my sobriety is that those with the most time let others work their own program without criticism, without interference and with love.
And remember that what is working today will change as time goes on. In a few weeks, months, years you may have a hard time believing that certain things ever worked for you because you have reached a point where those same things would now be a hindrance rather than a help.
That's okay, its where your road took you and is taking you still. Just remember that's YOUR road. My road and everyone else's may be similar to yours at times, or never, or may be the opposite of yours at times. All we need expect from each other is support and a helping hand when it is asked for.
All that any of us can do to help ourselves and to help others in sobriety is to share what works for us, to hear what does and doesn't work for others and to take from all of that anything that will help us in our journey down the road to sobriety
Blessed Be!
I have heard so many times that alcohol should be outlawed because of the damage it does to people. What so many people new to sobriety forget when they express this sentiment is that we are the minority!
Most people CAN handle their liquor, WE can't. Just because we have a problem with something doesn't give us the right to say no one should be able to use that substance.
This same sentiment carries into staying sober for many people. I hear so many people new to sobriety put down others who do things differently. "S/He'll never stay sober if s/he doesn't go to church, believe in God, leave his/her still drinking partner" and any of a million other things.
The problem with this thinking, is that sobriety is an individual road, we all have our own path, as in life. No one of us can speak for what will and what will not work for anyone except ourselves. Even the generally accepted norms have their exceptions. Most people in recovery will tell you that they couldn't be around booze all the time, but there are some people with many years of sobriety who tend bar for a living.
Likewise, most people believe in a higher spiritual power and rely on the support of that power to stay sober. But, there are many atheists that stay sober, they simply use something not spiritual as a higher power.
The beautiful thing about sobriety is that it is everyone's individual road, and that is something we must ALWAYS remember. What works to keep you sober will not work to keep me sober and vice versa.
This can be, however, a two-edged sword. Its very easy to look at one of the exceptions to the rule, for example, the sober person tending bar and say "I can do that." Unless you are one of the very few, no, you really can't.
One thing I have found to be more and more true as I gain time in my sobriety is that those with the most time let others work their own program without criticism, without interference and with love.
And remember that what is working today will change as time goes on. In a few weeks, months, years you may have a hard time believing that certain things ever worked for you because you have reached a point where those same things would now be a hindrance rather than a help.
That's okay, its where your road took you and is taking you still. Just remember that's YOUR road. My road and everyone else's may be similar to yours at times, or never, or may be the opposite of yours at times. All we need expect from each other is support and a helping hand when it is asked for.
All that any of us can do to help ourselves and to help others in sobriety is to share what works for us, to hear what does and doesn't work for others and to take from all of that anything that will help us in our journey down the road to sobriety
Blessed Be!
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