Monday, March 26, 2012


This is something I struggle with daily.  There are so many things about myself that I would like to work on, become better at, learn about, whatever and just not enough hours in the day. Worse yet, there is no spell to add hours to the day!!

I am always trying to do the mundane things: exercise more, eat better, clean my apartment daily, meditate daily, daily ritual.  The problem is time.  I work a very nearly full-time job, I'm still working on building up my tarot readings, I don't drive so that's an extra 3.5 hours on every shift I work in the office instead of at home plus extra time for errands, I go back to school full-time the end of the summer, and I have to make a special effort to spend time with people outside of work because I am great at isolating myself.

I've always been a loner, even as a child I was very happy shut up in my room reading rather than being outside playing with friends.  Now this probably has a lot to do with the fact that my depression most likely dates back to childhood but preferring to be alone has always been a big part of me.

So, I make an effort to reach out every day and spend at least some time with people that I'm  not dealing with as part of work.  Many days its just spending the time before my shift starts at work chatting with coworkers instead of reading or just walking outside to avoid being with people.  Some days it means forcing myself to leave my apartment, even if I just go to the store and pick up a newspaper or bottle of soda.

I actually do like the people I choose to spend time with, that's why I chose them, but it is frequently still an effort to not just hide away when I'm not working.  Making this effort every day, and spending time with other people has gotten easier for me over the months and years I've been doing it. 

I have been feeling very drained lately and I know that it is because I have been neglecting myself in other matters.  So, beginning today I start working on some of my other self-improvement goals.

Daily meditation, daily exercise, eating better and remembering to take my vitamins are all on the top of the list.  I'm hoping if I make these things a priority instead of a when I think of it, if I have time at that moment, kind of priority then I will have not just more energy but will feel better about myself.

I know when I force myself out of the house, frequently kicking and screaming mentally, I always feel better for it; so I'm hoping these things work the same way.  And ok, I'm also hoping the daily exercise part means I can wear skimpy tops all summer without any possibility of a gut or even a muffin-top.

We'll see what happens!

Blessed Be!

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