Friday, February 17, 2012

Intolerance

Intolerance is usually a much bigger problem with those that are new to sobriety.  As we get time under our belts we begin to understand more and more that very little of the world is about us and to live and let live.

I  have heard so many times that alcohol should be outlawed because of the damage it does to people.  What so many people new to sobriety forget when they express this sentiment is that we are the minority!
Most people CAN handle their liquor, WE can't.  Just because we have a problem with something doesn't give us the right to say no one should be able to use that substance.

This same sentiment carries into staying sober for many people.  I hear so many people new to sobriety put down others who do things differently.  "S/He'll never stay sober if s/he doesn't go to church, believe in God, leave his/her still drinking partner" and any of a million other things. 

The problem with this thinking, is that sobriety is an individual road, we all have our own path, as in life.  No one of us can speak for what will and what will not work for anyone except ourselves.  Even the generally accepted norms have their exceptions.  Most people in recovery will tell you that they couldn't be around booze all the time, but there are some people with many years of sobriety who tend bar for a living. 

Likewise, most people believe in a higher spiritual  power and rely on the support of that power to stay sober.  But, there are many atheists that stay sober, they simply use something not spiritual as a higher power. 

The beautiful thing about sobriety is that it is everyone's individual road, and that is something we must ALWAYS remember.  What works to keep you sober will not work to keep me sober and vice versa.

This can be, however, a two-edged sword.  Its very easy to look at one of the exceptions to the rule, for example, the sober person tending bar and say "I can do that."   Unless you are one of the very few, no, you really can't.

One thing I have found to be more and more true as I gain time in my sobriety is that those with the most time let others work their own program without criticism, without interference and with love. 

And remember that what is working today will change as time goes on.  In a few weeks, months, years you may have a hard time believing that certain things ever worked for you because you have reached a point where those same things would now be a hindrance rather than a help.

That's okay, its where your road took you and is taking you still.  Just remember that's YOUR road.  My road and everyone else's may be similar to yours at times, or never, or may be the opposite of yours at times.  All we need expect  from each other is support and a helping hand when it is asked for.

All that any of us can do to help ourselves and to help others in sobriety is to share what works for us, to hear what does and doesn't work for others and to take from all of that anything that will help us in our journey down the road to sobriety

Blessed Be!

2 comments:

  1. Well done Teresa, I say Yay you, and thank you too. Im still new in recovery 1 year and a half is not a long time in the big picture. This is very sound advice, and it does help me to remember to keep an open mind, and to roll with what comes my way with out picking up. Blessed Be <3

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