Friday, March 30, 2012

Flexibility

Lately, I have been finding flexibility, especially in my attitude, to be invaluable in my sobriety.

It really doesn't do any good to be too firm in my goals or expectations.  I've found that just being open to what comes my way and accepting it gives me far more peace of mind than if I truly plan on something happening and am disappointed when it doesn't work out.

Over the past couple of weeks I had looked into the idea of starting a local Pagan Support Group.  I really didn't hear from very many people that were interested but I decided to have a first meeting just to see who might show up anyway.  One person said they couldn't make it due to illness and no one else showed up.

At one time, I would have taken this very personally and felt hurt for weeks.  Last Friday, I was strangely relieved.  I have my full-time job, I'm still building my psychic business, I would like to move by the end of the summer, I'm taking 3 correspondence courses and I return to school at the end of May.  Somehow,  I knew that the lack of interest was just the Goddess' way of letting me know I have enough on my plate right now.

She was not done with me yet though.  Apparently, she felt another lesson in flexibility was required.  I have been looking forward to returning to school full time over the summer.  I was planning on taking mainly online classes and pulling 14 credit hours.  This is not meant to be!!LOL

My apartment building has a very high turnover and several of the newer tenants fight often, and vocally, and in the common areas so everyone hears them.  Now, lately they've been fighting more frequently!! Mornings, afternoons, evenings, even later at nite!  Frequently!! I do sleep afternoons and frequently their arguing will wake me up.  Have I mentioned they fight frequently?!!

So on Thursday, after being awoken yet again, I decided it was time to change my priorities.  I am still returning to school in the summer, but instead of taking 5 on line classes, I'm taking 2.  I have rearranged my fall schedule to include more online classes and less class time, also taking one less class so that I can free up some school money to use to relocate sooner.

Not so very long ago, having to change things like this would have made me feel like a failure.  I would have very much felt like I should have just been able to work even more hours and come up with the extra money to move sooner while maintaining the class load I had wanted to take.  Even a year ago, I would have tried to do it all, instead of just adjusting my priorities.

Last year, I still felt like I had to do everything and do it now.   Fortunately, as my sober time increases my perspective keeps changing.  Everything doesn't have to be done right now.  I'll still be back in school for the summer, going part time is fine.  Its the fact that I'm going, not how many credit hours I take that is important.  If I decide to cut my fall hours to part time to accommodate other interests,  that'll be okay too.

I just have to be open to what comes my way and know that everything will work out as its meant to.  The Goddesses and Gods are there to help and support me, both on the journey I would like to take, and on the one that I am meant to take!!

Blessed Be!

2 comments:

  1. That whole "right now" thing for me is my alcoholic mind. I know this. Your right too, not everything has to be right now, take your time hey :) Something that I learned to think of when I get that Right Now thing going on is like a lost bus, okay, and Im along for the ride. Enjoy the adventure, and you'll get there when you do. Blessed Be. & Keep up the good work,, Oh btw,, I would have gone to your support group, for sure <3

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Kandy,

      I just saw your note, I haven't been blogging for a bit. Trying the support group thing again in a couple weeks-for some reason an email sent showing interest was lost in cyberspace for 2 wks.
      Its nice to get some perspective and not force things to happen on my terms but to let them happen as they're meant to.
      Blessed Be!

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